I don’t think its depression, or maybe it is. I just feel kinda numb and scared for my uncertain future. What am I supposed to do with all the years I have ahead of me? Is there that many years ahead of me? I have nothing figured out and that would be a good thing to some people, but what if I just never figure myself out and live an unfulfilled future. I used to know what I wanted to do when I “grew up” but now those dreams are gone, vanished with the opportunities I threw out the window, I messed my own future up, and I’m scared, no… I’m TERRIFIED, I wont have a real future.
I feel like I lost a world. Who am I gonna run to when im sad now? :’/
Sometimes her words just break me down so much. I should be happy cause I have a wonderful girlfriend, a great job, good health… Everything but my mothers love and acceptance. :’/
Its not fair…
so yesterday at work I had a major anxiety attack. To tell you the truth I was scared shitt less and thought I was having a stroke… The ambulences had to be called to my place of work…
Thankfully everything turned out fine but it wasnt until that happened that I guess my mom started to worry… I had been telling her I had anxiety for a while now and she would just tell me that I could control it on my own. Having seen that it was really bad she now decides to look into my ‘depression’ and ‘anxiety’.
It sucks that it had to come to this for her to realize that maybe I wasnt just being dramatic, or that maybe this might be true, cause I dont even know if its that, all I know is that I dont wanna feel like I felt yesterday ever again.
just felt like I needed to confess that ‘nail art’ is like my favorite tag. I love it so much. I dont even like to get my nails done or anything I just love the miniature art lol.
I love being an aries, we can seriously make money appear out of our asses if we really needed to lol
Had a coffee date with my girlfriend in the morning, and we smoked a bowl before she had to go to school and I had to go to work….
this girl, this relationship.
just be jealous.
I belong with you,
you belong with me.
You’re my sweetheart.
Whats up with people and them giving me their opinions today, do they not see I really dont give a fuck? Geesus.